::vOgUe::

Stress.

2007-08-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hay. Life is really tough. Just a while a ago, we submitted another part of our whole machine project to our professor, and it was a very great relief because we were not called for the demo. We were happy with our accomplishments, which in turn gave me a very memorable gift (larger eyebags). Although we were not able to do some designs and add colorful backgrounds for our project, I'm happy because we still managed to finish it, despite my most memorable gift (larger eyebags). =)

NEW posts!! :D

2007-07-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

Waaah! namimiss ko na gumala!! medyo bad shot pa ako ngayon sa parents ko kaya lie low muna *hihihihi*..siguro after 1 week ng paglalie low, gala na ulet! and this time, i'll start saving money para panggala (kala nyo ah!! hahahaha) ..oh well, mababaliw lang talaga ako pag d ako gumala..with all this studying, i think i'll start to lose my mind! lately nga medyo sabog na talaga ako..and we sometimes can't eat at lunchtime because of hectic schedules! bakit pa kasi nauso and "no eating in marble floors"!! kakainis..tuloy, agnong siomai na 8 pcs lang yung nakakain ko..i only get to eat lunch after 4pm, kung kailan tapos na (sa wakas) ang aking "pinakamamahal" na subjects. grabe tagal ko narin d nagpopost ah!!kakamiss na tong updating chuvas. wahahahahaha.

Worth it.

2007-06-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

Hay nako. I failed a test today. Grabe pamatay ang hirap, at ang masakit pa dito, i really studied hard for it. I read everything that could be read, studied every diagram and picture that could be studied, answered every practice quiz for that lesson, and yet, i still failed. I'm sad not only because I failed this test, but because I really, really, really studied for this test. I just can't understand why it's this hard to pass an 18 item test. Can you imagine that? An 18 item test and I still failed. Oh the irony. I really am sad about it. Sana hindi nalang ako nag-aral, pareho lang rin naman yung outcome. But I won't lose hope, sana lang talaga pumasa na ako sa next test. Kung kailangang imemorize na ung buong lesson gagawin ko. I just want to change my lifestyle. I want to make my parents happy. I want to show them how much I appreciate their hardwork for me. Kaya kailangan na talaga pumasa, hindi lang pumasa, as in aim for the PERFECT SCORE!! yahoo!!

Loneliness.

2007-05-15T18:48:00.000+08:00

"My Destiny"
(Katherine Mcphee)

I have always dreamed of this
I'll admit that there was something I missed
Wonderin' if it is for real
Every mistake, every wrong turn
Every time I lost my way
Led me to this, moment of bliss, tonight

[CHORUS:]
With you, finally I can break free
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be

You were always by my side
That you believed in me was enough reason why
I didn't stop, didn't give up
Even if I sometimes lost hope
I did my best, and I am blessed
In life

[CHORUS:]
With you, finally I can break free
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned to be

Can I get any higher
Tell me, does it get any stronger?
I owe it to you, that I made it through
I never could've done it, without you

[CHORUS:]
With you, I can break free, yeah
With you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be

[CHORUS:]
Oh, cause of you, I saw a changing in my destiny
Dream come true, it's so funny now that I see
How different life turned out to be
I've realized that it's my destiny

='c

2007-04-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that vacation is fun, now that I think of it, I really miss being in school. I miss all the fun stuffs that I and my friends do. I miss being with them. Even if people stare at us because of the crazy things that we do, we don't care because we're happy being with each other. Right now, while I'm typing this new entry, I'm thinking of ways to make them feel that they are really special to me in a unique way. To me, they are priceless. Some say that I don't know how to choose my friends, but I really don't care. I never regret being friends with them. You know who you are. High school barkadas, college barkadas, and even some people who I will meet along the way. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for sharing wonderful moments with me. (Masyadong bang senti?mukha atang mamamatay na ako eh..hehe) But really, I thank you all for being there always. Good times or bad times. ^^

Finally.

2007-04-20T15:27:00.000+08:00

Finally! I can say na bakasyon na talaga!! wahahahaha!! I passed all my subjects for this term! i'm so happy!! Although hindi masyado mataas, I still managed to pass everything this term. I can truly say, that even if school is a pain in the ass, I still begin to miss it during vacation. I miss my friends, my teachers, and every subject that is taught to us. I'm so thankful for the teachers that made a big impact and helped us during hard times. They were there to assist us in everything. Without them, we wouldn't reach this far, 3rd year na kami!! hahahaha!! I'm so happy! 1 year and 2 more terms to go and we're off to work!! I'm so happy because i strived hard to achieve all of this, although I didn't do my VERY best, I'm still happy that I survived studying in La Salle. I want my parents to be happy for me. I promise to study HARDER this coming school year. Studies first before everything.

Long time.

2007-04-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've last updated my blog. Busy na kasi eh. Many things to do. Holy week na, and I still haven't repented for my sins. Dami ko na kasalanang ginawa since nabuhay ako sa mundong ito. Sa sobrang dami hindi ko na mabilang (obvious naman eh). Wala lang. It just seems like parang nagiging immune na ako sa mga kasalanan ko. Parang hindi na ako takot magkaroon ng kasalanan, ewan ko ba. Maybe if you keep on doing bad things, hindi mo na mapapansin na bad na pala yung ginagawa mo, kasi palagi mo na ginagawa eh. I'm not saying that I've been doing REALLY BAD things ah (hoy kayo anong iniisip nyo ha??). Ano kaya kung gawin ko yung penitensiya?wahahahahahaha!! yung palo palo sa likod. Kaso injection nga lang takot na ako eh. Yun pa kaya. Ay wag nalang. Masakit. Pero bakit kaya nila ginagawa yun? If you hurt yourself, does that mean that you are free from any sins na? Edi ang saklap pala sa mundong ito. Wahahahahahahaha.

The way I do.

2007-03-25T12:01:00.000+08:00

"The Way I Do"

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
..the way I do

Happy Birthday to me. ^^

2007-03-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

Another birthday..hehe..Waaaah! 18 na ako!! ang tanda ko na! Time passed by so quickly without me realizing that I'm a year older nanaman. Being 18 means being able to do whatever you want, being able to go wherever you want to go, and being responsible enough for the actions that you make. But somehow, in the back of my mind, and in my heart, there is something that wants to become young again. There is something in me that wants to be young again, so that I can turn back the hands of time. I made so many mistakes in my life, and I think( in fact, i know) that I have committed mistakes in my life in many ways. Magsisi man ako, wala na ako magagawa. Tapos na eh. Nangyari na lahat ng mga mali na nagawa ko. I could never turn back the hands of time to correct all the wrongdoings that I've done. So, instead of doing that, I think I'll just have to start at a new pace, now that I'm fully grown up, considering that I'm already 18. ^^ I wish that I can be responsible and mature enough for my actions. ^^

Pahinga.

2007-03-14T21:17:00.000+08:00

After several days of no entries, I finally decided to post one today. Wala lang. My life's a mess. I don't know what to do with it. Studies pa lang, sablay na. I'm not smart, therefore I am having a hard time dealing with lessons in our class. I'm quite nervous about certain subjects because I might get expelled if I failed those 3 subjects. OMG. While you are reading this entry, you might conclude that I'm a person with an ULTRA LOW self-esteem. I am not contented with my life, from the way I look, to the things that I already have. I know that I should be, because I have certain things that other people do not have. I study in a good school, I eat regularly, and I have a wonderful family that cares for me. Even so, I am still unhappy. I don't know why. I still try to fill the void that I've been having inside of me. I can start to see myself being so obsessed with material things that I forgot everything about the immaterial things that I have. I shove the things that can really make me happy and replace with something that can make me happy for a short period of time. I don't know why. It's as if I fail to see how lucky I am in my life, just having a happy family and a good life can be all I need, but I try to find something else. Something material. Maybe because of jealousy. I envy girls who can buy everything they want. Shopping till they drop. I know that that reason is too lame, but that's the way I am. I am a shallow person that cannot appreciate the wonderful things that God gave me. Siguro kailangan ko pa makaranas ng mga pangyayari para lang marealize yung mga blessings that God has given me.

Questions.

2007-02-25T14:39:00.000+08:00

"Questions"

I wanna know why this feels so right
I wanna know why u hold me tight
Each and every night, it keeps me up all night
Thinking about the things i like
Can't believe your in my life
I wanna know why you're the one
The things that they should have you've already done
God sent u straight to me
You make me wanna sing lalalalala

But when u look at me, do u see your wife?
Can u picture us lovin' each other for life?
Are u playin' the role, just like the rest
These are the questions that i ask myself
If, another should come, who's finer than me
And she wanna take your love away, would u leave?
Baby please answer these questions

Could this be my whole fantasy
Maybe u could just be too good for me
If i don't wake then i won't see
Cause if I'm not the one u met, then who is in me
In the mist of the tears how come, i love u more, and more, and more
I never longed for no one, yes its true
Seems like these questions keep me here with you

If you really wanna be with me
Then ill say, i love u endlessly
One thing that i really wanna know
Will this end or will this grow
And now if u really be wanna be with
Ill love u endlessly
One thing that i really wanna know
Will this end or will this grow

Fire.

2007-02-19T16:40:00.000+08:00

Sunog!!Sunog!! Ever experienced this kind of scenario? People running around, others just trying to know what was going on (in other words, mga usisero), firemen on the loose (parang masama pa eh), water splashing all over, and a burning house. I did. Last night was a disaster. That was, I think, the only time that we were all nervous of what may happen to us. Our neighbor's house was on fire, and it was so close to us that we could feel the heat inside our house. The window was so hot, and looking through the window, I could see our neighbor's house flaming with fire. We were so nervous, that we got all our important belongings, packed it in a suitcase, then started heading downstairs and out of the house. My parents were so shocked of the incident that my mom called our relatives just to ask for help. There were good and bad news. The good news was, because the firemen were fast enough in rescuing us, we were not harmed, just a little burn from our roof. The firewall helped us a lot, because our house could be set on fire too. The bad news was, 2 people died because of that fire. The grandmother and her son. Actually, it was not a house, but sort of a temple. Yesterday was Chinese New Year, so they lit many candles and opened up many lights (belief of the Chinese). Unfortunately, that started the accident. Oh, my mistake, 3 died pala. 2 people and their dog. We thanked God that He protected us from that fire, and may their souls rest in peace.

Misunderstanding.

2007-02-15T19:36:00.000+08:00

My friend told me that she was really hurt by the way that I've been acting this past few days. She said that it seems like I do not care about her each time that I am with my other friend. I was really sad because she is my closest friend, and I do not want her to feel that way about me. She's not usually like that, the kind of person who's easily disappointed with something. That's why I really feel bad because it only means that she really got fed up this time and wants to blurt out everything that she feels about my "actions". I want to be fair with everyone, and I don't want her to ever feel that way about me again. So I guess that it's better to be discreet with everyone so that no one would ever feel like being left out from the group.

Ang saya saya!

2007-02-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

Today was our L.E.A.P. day. At first, I thought that it was going to be a boring session. Fortunately, ang saya!! Haha! We had a demo makeover and we also learned how to apply makeup onto our faces. I know it sounds "maarte" but I really liked the session. Even if I'm not into makeups, it was fun because the speaker doesn't have that "monotone" voice that boring professors have, and the speaker was somehow putting the subject matter to be fun and exciting. Although we went to school for only 3 hours, it was worth it because every minute that we spent inside the classroom was fun. ^^

Friday=peace.

2007-02-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

Finally, Friday na. All worries, finally at rest. Hay. Makakapahinga narin ako sa wakas. These past few days, I began to meditate on my actions. Ok ba or hindi? Is God mad for the things that I've done? Did I please Him? Hindi ata eh. Because I feel so heavy inside. Maybe because He wants to convey a message for me, that He wasn't that happy with my actions, and that I should be responsible enough for every step that I take. Ewan ko ba. I feel confused. My friend said that guilt is the work of my conscience, and that my conscience are driven by the things that I've learned from my parents. I don't know if that was true. But deep inside, all I know is that I've made many mistakes in my life, and I want to make up for every mistake that I've done. If God can still forgive me, and give me a chance to make up for everything, I would surely want to take that chance and try harder to change for the better. He wants me to mature inside, as well as from the outside. I think that I've forgotten Him in my life. I set Him aside not realizing that He has many plans for me. I've made many decisions in my life without even consulting Him or asking for His opinion, whether I should do this, do that, etc. I just hope that He can still try to forgive me, despite of all the things that I've done wrong.

PESSIMISM..(if there exists such a word)

2007-02-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

Waaaaaah!! Aaarrghh!! Every item on the test was hard!! *&*!@@#$#%^$&^&^!!!grbe talaga!! Kahit hindi ako mag-isip ng negative things, it really goes on my last nerves. Hay. Another failing mark in lincirc. WOW. Collection of red marks ba to? Grabe ah. Hindi ko na kinaya. Oh well. Everyone of us had a hard time answering the exam. Even the most intelligent people in our class. Nyahahaha!! What can we say? Ang hirap talaga noh!! And we were not that prepared for that part because what we focused on were the solving parts. Wheew. Good thing it was finally over. Another exam in Elecomm on Monday. What a life. Then an oral test on Engltri about TONGUE TWISTERS!! For heaven's sake! Nabubulol na kami sa kakapronounce ng mga words that are supposed to be pronounced like this, like that, yadayadayada. Oh well. So much for the life of a college student. I asked for this. Computer science can really be a pain the ass. But this is my life. And I should be thankful for it. From now on, my goal is to always look on the positive side. Be optimistic. That's my goal.

Hyper!

2007-02-06T19:36:00.000+08:00

Hyper ako ngayon sobra!! Grabe!!haha! I don't know why, but I somehow feel excited na ewan. Hay nako! Gulat rin mga classmates ko sa akin eh..haha..my day today was exhilarating! haha. D ko alam kung bakit eh. Basta ang saya saya talaga ngayong araw. But there is still something inside of me which keeps on telling me that something's wrong. I don't know what, but I still feel a bit of sadness, even though HYPER nga ako. Haha. Oh well. Maybe it's time for me to change. Change my lifestyle, change the way I live, change my outfits (mahirap to!), and even change my personality (mas mahirap!). Hehe. Ewan ko ba. Ang gulo talaga ng buhay. Minsan masaya, minsan malungkot. Hindi mo masabi kung kailan ka matutuwa, at kung kailan ka malulungkot. Nevertheless, I'm still happy. ^^

Adik.

2007-02-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

Bakit ang tao parang adik? Pag kulot ang hair, inuunat. Pag unat, kinukulot. Pag madali ang buhay, nabobored. Pag mahirap, nagsusuicide. Pag mataba, nagpapapayat. Pag payat, nagpapataba. Pag nandiyan na, hindi naman pinapansin. Pag wala na, hinahanap na. Pag wala pa, inaantay, pag andiyan na, tinataboy naman. Pag mainit, gusto ng malamig, pag malamig, gusto naman ng mainit. Pag mamamatay na, gusto mabuhay. Pag buhay naman, gusto na magpakamatay. Pag mahal ka, hindi mo mahal. Pag mahal mo, hindi ka naman mahal. Pag andiyan pa, ayaw pakita ang nararamdaman. Pag wala na, chaka mo gusto pakita ang nararamdaman?? Hay. Sadyang adik ang mga tao....

Honesty.

2007-01-27T19:48:00.000+08:00

I just realized something. Not all people can tolerate jokes. May mga tao na tinototoo pala ang jokes, and they think na liar ka na. Hindi pala pwedeng basta basta nalang magjoke. Bad yun. Kelangan marunong ka tumingin kung pwede bang ijoke ung taong yun o hindi. wala lang. Share.. hehe..^^

Oh no.

2007-01-19T19:12:00.000+08:00

Here we go again. Another tedious weekend. Quiz on Lincirc on Monday, first formal impromptu speech (3 minutes) on Monday, 2 final reports due on Monday and Tuesday, and another quiz on Elecomm on Friday. What a boring life. All I can think about is school stuffs. Why can't I just be like other people who don't care whether they pass or not? Why am I so concerned about my studies? And why am I so nervous when I'm about to step up at the platform and give my impromptu speech for a matter of 3 minutes? Why am I like this? Maybe I'm really this way. No matter what I do, there's just no way that I can change my life. There's just no way that I can change the way I live in this world. No matter how unhappy I can be, no one can do anything just to change the way I live. No one but God. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I just wish that I can be somebody else. Happy and contented with her life. Someone that can laugh out loud, no matter how hard or big her problems is. Someone who can walk around confidently and say, "Who cares about what everyone might say? I'll live my life the way I want it to." Someone who can be herself, in spite of everyone that's criticizing every move she makes. Simply someone that can be proud of who she is. Because right now, I don't feel a teeny weeny feeling of confidence with myself. My friend once told me, "Kung nagagawa mo lahat ng gusto mo at perfect na lahat, aanhin mo pa ang heaven?" Well, somewhere over the rainbow, she's right. I know that He made me this way because He has a plan for me. A purpose. That's what I believe, and will always do.

At last!!

2007-01-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

I found my i.d.!! Or should I say, someone has found my i.d. and gave it to the lost and found area. I'm so happy, well, oo na, mababaw na kung mababaw. But maybe I feel that way because of its value. Chaka sobrang mahal rin kasi. Kaya siguro ang saya ko nung nahanap na. Besides, who would ever want his/her i.d. to be lost? Pero I know, babaw parin ako. Hehe. Wala lang. Share lang. ^^

What a day..

2007-01-10T19:48:00.000+08:00

Bad day. Bad, bad day. I just lost my i.d. today at school. Pupunta lang naman kami sa agno para bumili ng siomai, tapos pag kapa ko sa i.d. strap ko wala na yung i.d. ko!! What a life. It would be better if one i.d. in school costs for about 10 pesos. But no!! 550 noh..grabe tong buhay na to. I just wish na may mabait na taong magbabalik sa lost and found ng i.d. ko. And I also wish that I'll find my i.d. tomorrow at the lost and found section. To add up to my bad day, I was scolded by my parents for being such a "burara" to my things. They lectured me of how hard it was to earn 500 pesos. Duh. As if naman hindi ko alam yung mga bagay na ganon. Of course I value money, that's why I really take care of my i.d. eh. Nilagyan ko pa ng strap. Sinabit ko pa sa leeg ko. But how am I supposed to know na mawawala pa pala yun sa ganong klaseng pag-iingat? So parang stupid idea yung pagsabit ko ng i.d. ko sa leeg ko like a high school student. So SAD..

new life..

2007-01-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

School's back. Although we're still not that busy at the first day of classes, I can tell that second day of classes won't be that easy. I can imagine the scenario tomorrow. We're going to start our first laboratory class at commlab. Hopefully, the teacher would be kind enough to just let us do our first experiment next meeting. I don't think that my brain is ready to function at this period of time. All it wants is to rest a little more. I think that my brain is already tired from all of the information that it has stored up in its little memory. It's as if my brain has been fired up with a size of 512 mb of information, and yet, it can only store up to a size of 256 mb of information. Gosh. Too much information makes my brain go crazy.

School's back.

2007-01-05T12:02:00.000+08:00

School's back again. Grabe. Kakatamad sobra pumasok. Puro papers, projects, presentations, and lots of stuff to do. Never kaming nakarest pag may school. Super hectic talaga! Siguro kahit may mga 1 hour break kami, kulang parin eh! Ang dami talagang gagawin nyan! Hay nako!!

When I think of you

2007-01-01T16:20:00.000+08:00

"When I Think Of You"

Youre my past, my future,
My all, my everything,
My six in the morning when the clock rings
and i open up my eyes to a new day
My Laughs, my frowns
My ups, My downs
Its a feeling that you get when you know that somethings true,
When i think of love i think of you

Im looking at you while your sleeping here beside me,
Oh, mere words cant explain the love i have inside
Its more than just a physical thing, i know
Its something like a spiritual connection
I feel it in my soul heart and mind

The sweetest thing is what you are
From you, I'll never be to far,
Please say forever you will stay beside me

Your beautiful like the colours of the rainbow
Warm heated like the rays of the sun on summer days
All i got to do is look into your eyes to lose myself
Your the substance of my dreams, epitomy of women
The only one i truly call mine

Oohh when i think of love i think of you
Baby i love you, baby i need you.

Sadness..

2006-12-28T17:35:00.000+08:00

what to do when sadness overwhelms you?
what to do when its reason don't appreciate you?
of what may lie behind this line , I'll keep it deep inside.
of what I hide behind my life, its reason will be forever mine.

it all began in misery, and thus end up with a mystery,
of how my shadow shatters, at the brink of dawn that scatters.
my mournful soul that wallows, deep within my sorrow,
crushes at the estate, of my own sweet serenade.

my soul grievance that's never been heard,
my own iniquities that hides and turn,
my fury that struggles to rise,
this all tamed me to someone I don't desire.

so kiss me now,to my infinite sleep,
awake me not, strip me my own perfection.
lay me down, in my temperance grim,
let sadness sing to me, my irrevocable dream..

- written by donna ( her interpretation of what I feel right now )

Excited!

2006-12-22T22:50:00.001+08:00

Gifts, gifts, and more gifts!! Am very excited to open all of it! haha! Kaso ayaw ni mommy eh..maghintay daw hanggang Christmas..Hay nako.. Eh wala naman kami dito pag Christmas, pano kaya un? Hay nako talaga.. Nevertheless, I'm still happy for the things that happened in my life. No failures for this term, got many gifts from my aunts and uncles, and of course, I've got my family to spend Christmas with. With that, what more can a girl wish for? Naks!! Haha! But I don't know. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, it seems like there's something missing. It's as if even though things are going well, there's something that really makes me sad. I don't know what it is, but it really makes me sad. Minsan, pag masaya na nga ako, bigla nalang ako malulungkot not knowing why. Ewan ko ba. Parang laging may masamang hangin na dumadapo saakin tuwing masaya ako. (utot? hahahahaha) Hay nako. I just hope that I'd be happy this Christmas. No sad memories, only good ones.

My New Year's resolution: To be a good daughter to my parents, to never fight nor quarrel with my younger sisters, and to learn to be patient.

Ay pahabol!! I will also TRY my BEST to control my ANGER towards that person. Magiging mabait na ako sayo. Pero try lang ah..hindi yun promise. Wehehehehe!!

PS. Sorry peeps, pero nagpapabanggit nanaman si YODA eh..hay nako. I mean si OLIE pala. (sabi sayo bagay nga yoda pangalan mo eh, ayaw pa kasi tanggapin) haha!!

Life is good.

2006-12-19T18:45:00.000+08:00

Life is good. God is good. Fortunately, I passed in all of my subjects for this term. Grabe, ganito pala yung feeling ng mga walang bagsak. Ang saya talaga. ^^ Sana lang lagi nalang ganito sa lahat ng terms to come pa. Hay. Grabe ang saya talaga. This day will be the happiest day of my life. Pwede na ako matulog ng mahimbing!! Not that hindi ako nakakatulog ng mahimbing before the course card distribution, pero siguro mas sasarap na tulog.hehe.

i miss my friends..

2006-12-17T12:11:00.000+08:00

Hay..they're off to Los Baños, Laguna, and I'm left at home all alone. I miss my blockmates. As much as I want to go, I can't, because my parents won't let me. Dangerous daw. Wtf. Oh well, they're my parents, so anuman ang desisyon ng magulang, sundin ng anak. Nowadays, ang anak na talaga ang kailangan umintindi sa kanyang mga magulang. I'm thankful because they care for me, but when will I learn to decide for myself if they keep on interfering with my life? I love them, but seems like they're too much. I wish they can trust me, because I know what I'm doing with my life naman. I know that they are my parents, and their role is to protect me. It's just that, I just want to experience things. To learn things. Hindi yung lagi nalang umaasa sa kanila. I want to be independent. As for now, I understand them, because they see me as a child pa. I can't blame them if they see me that way.

I hate it.

2006-12-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

This event seems like the hardest part in my entire life. I don't know why they keep on saying that I won't be safe if I go with my blockmates. I understand that they don't know my blockmates, that's why they may think that it's not safe to go, but imagine this, I and my blockmates have known each other since, like, my first stay in DLSU. I don't know why they can't seem to trust my friends. It's hard to be put in this situation. I can't even decide for myself. I know that they were made to be my parents to give orders and to decide for me, but isn't this too much? I can't seem to see myself in the near future to function all by myself. It's like they pamper me too much that I can't even give decisions for myself. Life is hard when you are always being watched. Every move or decisions you make, they really have to meddle with it. I can't take this anymore.

At last.

2006-12-13T20:37:00.000+08:00

Finally!! Finals for all subjects are finally through!! yahoo!! I just hope that all the upcoming results will be good. Meanwhile, I won't be able to go to Laguna with my blockmates. Hay. Sayang. I just feel na maOOP ako dun, with all the couples and dota boys, I don't think that I will ever fit in their crowd. Haha. Might as well not go nalang.

Christmas nanaman. Ang saya talaga pag Christmas. I have a new year's resolution na. I'll try my best to be able to understand her. Maybe she lacks attention lang, kaya medyo papansin. But hopefully, magbago na siya for the sake of her friends. She's so damn bitchy kasi eh. I don't know why, but no one can ever change her. Kahit siguro nanay niya hindi siya mababago eh. Too bad.

Hay..Life..

2006-12-08T11:18:00.000+08:00

I got my Digital quiz yesterday, and I was so devastated because of the result. The final exam is a 120/100 item test. I need to get a 100 out of that 120 to pass.. OMG. How will I ever get to do that? I don't know if the prof will make it hard for us. I hope not. I'm really hoping that I won't have any failures in my subjects this term and for the succeeding terms. Oh my. Have to do so many things, but so little time. I don't understand why this is happening. Maybe the old saying is really true. "Bago ka maging successful, kelangan mo munang pumasok sa butas ng karayum." That's not literal. Haha. I know that I really have to work hard to achieve anything, but how come it's this hard? I wish that the final exam will be the quizzes that we took. That way, I can rejoice during Christmas and not fret. Haha. So lucky for us if that really happens. But I'm not hoping for that to happen.

Pressures..all gone..

2006-12-06T20:14:00.000+08:00

Pressures..all gone. Thank you Lord!! At last, projects are now over. No more projects and presentations. Although we still have to prepare for the final exams, I'm quite relieved that we don't have to do any more projects. Thanks to "week before finals"!! haha!! I'm hoping that we'll pass the final exam. Mga prof, pamasko niyo nalang ang 1.0 sa amin!! haha! of course I would not want to get a 1.0 for all of our subjects, just the ones that I have difficulty on. But I don't think that that will ever happen. Lucky for us if it did.

There was this plan about the whole s11 block going to Laguna. Sana payagan ako. I don't know. Most of the time, they wouldn't let me go especially if they don't know my friends that well. Bu I'm really hoping that they'd let me go. And even if that will be my last outing (if ever bumagsak sa mga subjects), I want to have a good time. hehe. Sana sana sana.....

PS. Hoy Olie! o yan binanggit na kita sa blog ko ah! haha! kulet!

Feeling sorry..

2006-12-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

These past few days, I looked back at my life and wondered why it's going nowhere. My life was not that normal as it was before. I can feel that something has changed. Then, one word popped into my mind. God. I can feel my connection with Him is beginning to fall apart. Before I go to sleep, I sometimes even forget to pray. I think that my life is leading to nowhere because I have failed in making God happy. I forgot about Him already. He blessed me with so many things, but I forgot all about it. He gave me so many things that I could wish for, but I was so ungrateful about it. Now, I feel really sad because of that. For the past few days, I don't know the reason why something seems missing in my life. I'm not happy with my life right now, and I can't find the reason why. Until now.

Backstabber?

2006-11-30T11:51:00.000+08:00

Nyaks!! No classes again tomorrow and on Friday?!! wat the..eh paano ko na kaya gagawin yung mga kelangan kong tapusin na projects?i know that it's my fault because I did not started earlier. What can I do?Eh ang sarap maglaro eh. I'm so tired of studying!!Grabe!! kung alam niyo ang hirap ng estudyante..pamatay..so many things to do but so little time. HAY..at eto pa..imagine that you're having a bad day na nga, tapos susumbat sumbatan ka pa ng mga ibang tao dyan. Nakakabwisit talaga yung ganon eh. Tapos ang dami pang backstabber. Yung tipong sinisiraan ka. Epal kaya yung mga ganon. Maririnig mo nalang sa ibang tao? Hay nako..

Today, our professor was sad and disappointed at us because of the result in our tests. Ang bababa daw. He even blames himself for his ineffectiveness in his teaching skills. I don't want him to feel that way, because first of all, he's not the one who's got the problem, it's me. I won't say the word "we" because I don't want to include other people to the problem. Siyempre dapat sarili ko lang yung sisisihin ko, kasi nagpabaya ako. I don't study well, and after class, I leave all my learnings inside the classroom. Ang panget ng ganon dba? Ewan ko ba. Basta pag nagtuturo siya parang gusto ko na magbell agad. Hindi naman sa boring siya. Boring yung topic. I really don't understand it. Tapos ang hirap sakin, ang dami ko na nga hindi maintindihan, hindi pa ako nagtatanong. Parang tanga dba? Eh kasi naman, pag magtatanong ako, tatawanan ako ng isang tao dyan pag mababaw yung tanong. O walang tatamaan ah. Nakakainis lang yung ganon. Eh paki nyo ba kung malalim yun para sakin? Kakabwisit kaya yung ganon. Hay nako. Grr.

2006-11-26T04:30:00.001+08:00

Another failing mark in Baselec..d ko alam kung bakit ganito ang buhay..ang hirap hirap maging slow learner..hay..ewan ko ba..sana pinanganak nalang ako na katulad ng mga henyo dyan..yung d na kelangan mag aral pero papasa parin?lam mo yung feeling na ganon?kahit d ka mag-aral taas parin grades mo..line of 90..minsan 100 pa..o dba??!ang taray nun!haha! pero siguro kelangan nalang akong maging kontento sa kung anong meron ako..kung walang luxuries in life, ok lang..kung hindi masyado matalino, ok lang..wag na marami pang hinihingi..

Hay..love nga naman..bakit ganon?kung sino pa ung least likely for you to fall in love with, siya ba ung nagugustuhan mo?bakit ganon ang tao?kung ano ano nararamdaman pag kasama nila loved ones nila?minsan masaya, minsan malungkot..pero madalas masaya dahil mahal mo ung kasama mo..pero ang tanong, pag nag aaway pa kayo masaya ka parin na kasama cya?o halos isumpa mo nang minahal mo pa cya?

people are epal.

2006-11-24T11:05:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is another day. To laugh, or to be angry with someone. I don't understand why that person is so annoying. Or should I say, I do? Hindi naman ako laging ganito eh..ung tipong puro masama nalang yung nakalagay sa blog ko..pero ewan ko ba, nakakainis na kasi talaga ung mga tao, parang wala na sila magawa sa buhay nila kundi umepal sa buhay ng ibang tao..sana wala nalang mga epal na tao sa mundo..sana lahat pantay pantay..

To MBAP (masarap bugbugin at patayin),
Sana naman wag ka nang maging bwisit sa buhay ko..magbago ka na..ang yabang yabang mo kasi eh..kala mo ang galing galing mo..alam mo, yung mga taong ganyan, hindi sila hinahangaan..alam mo kung bakit?kasi wala silang ginawa kundi magyabang lang..kaya please lang, tumigil ka na sa kakasalita mo ng mga walang kwenta..tapos pagtatawanan mo pa ako pag nagkamali ako?bakit?hindi ka ba nagkakamali?lahat ng tao may pagkakamali...everybody makes mistakes because each of us is not perfect..so quit trying to be one! Alam mo kung saan ka bagay? dun sa school ng mga mayayabang! isaksak mo sa kokote mo na kung tao ka, hindi ka aakto na perfekto..kasi kung iniisip mo parin ng perfect ka, dapat mo nalang tanggapin na hindi ka tao..cow nalang para maganda..(hindi ako nagdidiscriminate ng animal ah,bagay lang talaga sakanya yang nickname na yan)..ok ka naman kung babaguhin mo lang yung ugali mo eh..yan ay kung may pag-asa pa nga magbago..meron naman siguro..after all, tao ka parin naman.( hindi pa nag-eevolve ito a cow)..sana lang magbago ka na talaga..kasi medyo sumosobra na kayabangan mo.. STOP TRYING TO BE A KNOW-IT-ALL PERSON!

PS: kung sino man makabasa nito, huwag kayong tatamaan ah..kasi d mo naman lam kung kaw nga talaga tong tinutukoy ko..

movie time!!

2006-11-21T19:17:00.001+08:00

Just a while ago, my friends and I were talking about watching a movie tomorrow after class. We were so excited that we didn't know what movie to watch! Then Satomi suggested that "Happy Feet" is a nice movie, so we all agreed with it. At first, I really wanted to watch "The Covenant", but since everyone voted for "Happy Feet", then I'll just have to agree with them. I really wish that my parents would let me go tomorrow, considering the fact that they're so strict about going to the mall with friends during school days. Pagpasok ko pa nga lang ng kotse namin, tanong na ako agad sa daddy ko kung pwede eh! haha! well, i really hope and pray that they'd let me go tomorrow!hehe..

Circuit nearly finished,,

2006-11-16T13:05:00.000+08:00

Today, our circuit (eagleman and me) was nearly finished, and I'm so stressed about it. Another upcoming exam on Friday on Algocom. Lord, we need your help. Please guide us in our test on Algocom. We have a hard time understanding the concepts. Please help us to pass the test.

Wishes..never contented.

2006-11-15T15:08:00.000+08:00

Another exam has passed by..and I can't sleep worrying about the result of my test. I wish that I was just intelligent like other people. That way, I won't need to worry about my grades, if we have a test every single day, or even for my future. I wish that I am a happy-go-lucky person. I wish that I can do whatever I want without even worrying what other people might say. I wish that I can live my life the way I want it. I wish that I can have everything that I want without worrying about money or anything else. I wish that I am a good daughter to my parents, so that they won't need to scold me anymore. I wish that I am a better person with every single day that goes by. I wish that I am a good follower of Christ, so that He won't be disappointed with me anymore. I wish that I can know a way to change the bad things that are happening to my friends..I wish that.....I am just contented with what I have, so that I won't be typing this post just to complain about everything.

Henny...

2006-11-10T14:00:00.001+08:00

Our classmate, Henny Shiela Catindig Pascua, is a very "kalog" girl!! She always makes us laugh with her funny jokes plus "the look" on her face! Last Tuesday, as we were eating at La Casita, she made us laugh with her "kagaguhan"! These were the conversation:

Casti: Henny!! may nakakuha ba ng exercise ni sir Borgz sa algocom sainyo?
Henny: Meron.
Casti: O talaga?Sino?Si Jerick??
Henny: Hindi.
Casti: Si Mark Paltao??
Henny: Hindi.
Casti: Eh sino?
Henny: Si Jerick.

Huh? Naghang kami dun ah! haha! Eto pa:

(While at the sports complex)
Casti: (holding a mountain dew).. Henny gusto mo??
Henny: (shook her head SABAY abot ng mountain dew)
Casti: (Laughs) Kala ko ayaw mo?
Henny: (Laughs) Nagbago na isip ko eh!!
Casti: Ang bilis ah!!haha!

WARNING: BEING FICKLE-MINDED IS NOT GOOD..(especially when you change your mind that fast!)

In short, wag gumaya kay Henny!!hahaha!!

School works..

2006-11-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

Why do people lie to their parents about their studies? Is it because they don't want to be punished? Or better yet, do they hate to see their parents worry? To tell or not to tell. Zat iz ze question...

This is not fair.

2006-11-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

Life is so unfair. Sometimes, people don't get what they deserve. The funny thing here is that some people who always get what they want do not appreciate the things that they have. I, for one, am guilty on that part. Tonight, I just realized that material things that I crave for blocks my view of the blessings that God has already given me. God, family, and friends are the most important beings in my life. Unfortunately, because of my craving for other not-so-important stuffs, I tend to get blinded along the way. Maybe it really works that way. If we have everything in life, we tend to forget. This thought often comes into my mind: what if God made us as poor as rats? will we learn to call on Him when we experience hardships? maybe that's the only time that we may learn to appreciate the things that He has given to us.